If Others Are Allowed To Taste It, Then You Are The Only One Allowed To Swallow….

Well, my illustrious adventures in ballroom continue on a trajectory toward my next competition, Desert Classic, in just over a month.

After this past competition, however, it was time to assess and course correct, a time to fix and improve what I can in this short respite. To that end, I had a lesson with Ivan and coaching with Linda Dean the Tuesday after the competition. Happily, Linda gave me great feedback on my dancing at the competition and we then proceeded to work on Bolero, Mambo, and Swing, cleaning up some issues, and revisiting the actual technique of the basic steps. Once again I find I’m too nicey-nice with my dancing. Linda reiterated Ivan’s admonition that I’m being too pretty and precise when some dances call for being more wild, free, even savage.

The other note Linda gave me was that I needed a new dress. Well, I do. She’s 100% right. I kind of hate to get one now but I’m sick of being seen in the same ones since forever. It’s time for a change. So guess what? You are right. I consulted with Marieta Sunday about making a new dress. So far I think it will be asymmetrical and be teal with lime green as an accent color. I’m sick of all the black. Time for color! Time to show a new version of them because, after all, I’m right smack dab in the middle of my transformation, you know!

I missed ballet last week on account of the holiday weekend. But tonight I went and worked up a good sweat. And I have to say things are a’changin’. It felt like the same amount of effort to me, but apparently my penche was noticeably higher this evening. My instructor was like, “What have you been doing?! Your leg was way up there!” And I have to say I felt pretty energized after class. It was an effort but not exhausting. Every few pounds I loose, every inch that shrinks off, makes it that much easier to move. The same amount of effort (which is a lot I tell you!) now produces incrementally bigger and better results. It’s kinda exciting if I do say so myself.

I went to Inna’s class last Tuesday which was taught by Igor since Artem and Inna were busy making it to semi-finals at Blackpool with their Foxtrot and Quickstep!!! How awesome and exciting is that?! But back in the real world, Phoenix, AZ, we worked on Cha Cha. Though the content class is great, and it pushes me to work so very hard, and it helps with cardiovascular conditioning, it is soooooo full of students. It’s hard to find space sometimes and when people don’t move and I am stuck behind them, or they are unaware of their limbs and fling them dangerously in my face, well, it’s getting kind of annoying. Sigh. What’s a girl to do?

Go to Rado’s Latin class on Thursdays, I suppose. It was the last in the series on Rumba for the month of May and it was a goodie. We reviewed the content of the previous classes, namely the 3 types of hip action: pendulum, figure eight, forward and back, as well as the 7 types of walks in Rumba: forward, backward, delayed, delayed with check, check, forward turn walk and one more I can’t remember dang it! Anyways, these basic walks are the components that make up all the steps in the dance such as Hockey Stick or Alemana. Rado gave us some choreography and we danced it and then he went on to talk about the character of the Rumba.

You have to know that Rado is a pretty energetic and entertaining guy. He’s very friendly as well as extremely knowledgable. He shares information with use about how to properly execute the various dances that I’ve not heard before, or he presents in ways new to me which helps me understand the dancing in a new light. For instance he shared with us how to improve our Rumba walks by pushing our ankles downward toward the floor to create that gorgeous line through the ankles and feet on the four and one counts.

So anyways, I enjoy his teaching style, he imparts knowledge generously and effectively, but I’ve never heard him be this racy! He was describing how the males and females should be dancing in the Rumba and it basically comes down to this; the guys are supposed to act like they are “the shit” because they are with this amazing, beautiful, womanly partner and they have the ability to get her to move however they’d like. Of course the woman’s job is to be uber-sexy, so much so that she attracts the attention of everyone watching, especially people across the room. The man she’s dancing with should be appreciative and all, but still maintain a machismo and cool confidence because, after all, he’s the one actually dancing with this maven, not just watching from afar.

He explained it like this (and apparently it comes from some movie, or so he says): If everyone can look at her, he is the only one who can touch her, and if everyone else can touch her, he is the only one who can smell her, and if others are allowed to smell her, then he is the only one who can taste her, and if others are allowed to taste her, he is the only one allowed to swallow.

OMG! Ha ha ha. SAY WHAT?! I almost choked on my tongue laughing! But I suppose it gets the point across….ewww…..??

The only other news is that my asthma is somewhat better since my doctor put me on a few more medications (boo!) but it continues to be an issue. Even so, I am pushing through and mostly recovered from my big dance competition. I had a double lesson with Ivan on Sunday and we mostly worked on our Samba.

I have to say, it was a very good lesson. We went through each step one-by-one from the beginning, refining it. The best part was that I felt pretty good doing it and was performing so much so that Ivan got goosebumps, not once, not twice, but four times! That has never happened before. And it made me very happy. Because it means that Ivan can feel me though my dancing. This means that others should also be able to feel me when I perform. It means to me that the performer is in there and she is coming out of her shell. Of course it is easier with just me and Ivan – it wasn’t quite as effortless when Marieta walked in – but it made me realize, acknowledge, and own my power and it also made me think that it is high time I play a bigger game and stop only showing this much on lessons. The more I shed this outer fat suit, the more my inner self shows up, the more confidence I seem to have, the more I feel like it is okay to be me and to show exactly how I feel. It’s an exciting time.

And I’m 100% back on my eating plan once again. I did all the shopping and cooking this weekend and I’m not going to lie – it is a pretty big effort. I actually enjoy cooking, using my kitchen, baking, reacquainting myself with my counter-top mixer that I got as a wedding present. But it is hard on my feet, hips and ankles to stand so much! I want to get one of those floor mats like we used in the pharmacy for some extra padding. I had to laugh when my husband commented that all the cooking keeps me very busy and “maybe all that cooking is part of the work out!” In any case, my fridge is stocked, my food is packaged, and I’m ready to eat like a Hobbit once again. I learned for future reference that doing a competition or travelling will require even more planning ahead because when I’m back in “real life” I don’t necessarily have the internal resources right away the very next day to go shopping and do food prep. In the case of a competition I was physically exhausted. So I think I will freeze things when I leave in the future so I can just defrost them and be ready to go straight away the next time around.

And my nutritionist and I are also troubleshooting the energy/eating situation during a competition. I’m going to get this carbohydrate powder which is the same idea as a protein powder but with carbs like I need during a comp. Plus I discussed with Martieta what to do to tan without using spray tan since it totally triggered my asthma before the competition. You live, you learn, right? I always learn tons every time I do a competition, about myself, about how to better prepare, and it’s all good.

And finally, a little bit of a rant lol. You see, since I’m working to shed all this weight I decided to follow a bunch of blogs about dieting, eating healthy and all that. I’ve followed people who are obese like I am. I’ve followed people who are already super-duper fit. People with eating disorders. People who had gastric bypasses. People who create clean eating diets. Basically, the entire gambit of anything to do with food, eating, weight loss, getting fit and whatnot… and reading these blogs is pissing me off! lol.

There is a lot of complaining on some of the blogs. Lots of excuses and whining (not like I’ve ever done that here…lol!) Or, on the other hand, there are people all, “I dropped 12 pounds in 2 weeks!” Like super amazing results and I’m annoyed that my progress isn’t as fast. It’s a weird thing – I wanted to follow these because I want to keep my head in the right space but I’m not 100% sure they’re helping.

Of course there are some gems in the pile like, Unbearable Weight, which is excellent and inspires me regularly. I especially found some food for thought reading her recent post. But besides UW, I mostly get annoyed from reading, wishing I was having more dramatic results or that the content wasn’t laced with negativity since I have enough of that to overcome in my own brain!

Alright rant complete. If you read a blog about health, fitness, eating, weight loss or any related topic that you find inspiring and uplifting, that motivates you, that has fantastic content, my request is that you please share the name of it and/or a link to it in the comments. I’m on the hunt to connect with others on this body transformation journey just like I’ve connected with other dancers.

And now for your viewing pleasure, just for fun, here is an entertaining picture of Ivan. He’s such a goofball!

elk

Alrighty folks, that’s it for now. Until next time, keep dancing!

Well Good Morning! A Nice Surprise In My Inbox…

I’m always excited to see the little rectangular dialoge box on the upper righthand corner of my Dashboard light up orange.  It means someone took the time to write me a comment and I can’t tell you how much I enjoy interacting with you guys.  It’s honestly one of the most rewarding aspects of blogging – getting to know some of you and creating community.  So I got a thrill this morning when I saw the “indicator light” was on and eagerly clicked it with nervous anticipation.

What greeted me was a very pleasant surprise from my pal Back To First Position.  She wrote:

I just wanted to let you know I really enjoy your blog and it has been inspirational to me and I think it’s great!  So I have nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award.  It’s just a blogger-to-blogger pay it forward kinda thing to recognize other bloggers who we feel are great at what they do and deserve some recognition.  Have a great day!

Well my goodness!  What a kind gesture!

liebster-blog

The Liebster Award is a pay-it-forward way to recognize blogs who have less than 200 followers.  Liebster is a German word that means beloved and valued.  There are a few versions of it floating around the blogosphere.  Some say to nominate 3 to 5 fellow bloggers and stipulate less than 3000 followers.  It’s nothing official, there are no judges or awards, but it is, I think, a pretty nifty and special thing to do for someone whose blog you enjoy.  Anyways, the version bestowed upon me this morning has rules as follows:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link back to their blog.
  2. List 11 random facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  4. Create 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate.
  5. Choose 11 bloggers with 200 or less followers to nominate and include links to their blogs.
  6. Go to each bloggers page and let them know you have nominated them.

I’m flattered and happy to participate so here we go!

1.  Easy!  Thank you Back to First!!!!  Go Here To Read This Awesome Blog.

2.  Eleven Random Facts About The Biggest Girl In The Ballroom

I’m left-handed.

When I was a kid I had a white rabbit named Alexa

There is a samurai sword in my living room.  It’s not actually sharp but I earned it by completing a series of personal growth and mastery workshops.  Real samurai swords are so sharp and strong because the metal is beaten and folded upon itself upwards of 80,000 times in the forge, and just like that samurai sword, every life experience is another bending and pounding which, strengthens, sharpens, and hones me to be an instrument of authenticity. It symbolizes cutting through the illusions, projections, and self-limiting beliefs that obscure authenticity and the greatness inherent in every human being.  Whoa, that was kinda deep lol.

I know how to make balloon animals.  My best creature is probably a parrot on a perch.

I was voted most likely to be the next Martha Stewart by my high school class.  How very little they knew me!  I’m messy!!

My favorite color is green.  Always has been.

I have a scar on my left knee from when I fell in my grandparents’ backyard on some stone steps and ended up needing stitches.

I have an awesome laugh.  It is big and loud and full from the belly.  People often comment on it.  In fact, I recorded myself laughing in one of those recordable cards and mailed it to a friend who was always cheered by it.  She still has the card to this day and listens to it often, or so she tells me!

My grandpa nicknamed me “Blueberry” as a kid because I wiped out an entire carton of blueberries one day when I was ravenous after a trip to the grocery store.  I was probably 5 or so.

I’m pretty good a word games.

I’m a Taurus. In fact, my birthday is coming up very soon!

3.  Answer the questions given to me

  • Why did you start writing your blog?

My husband was sick of me talking about ballroom dancing!

  • What is the most fun thing for you about your blog?

Meeting readers in person and loaning my dress to one.  All the friends I’ve made.  Getting Editor’s Choice from Dance Advantage was pretty dang sweet, too!

  • How much time do you spend on your blog weekly?

Depends on the week!  Usually a few hours but it is a labor of love.  I really enjoy writing.

  • What is your happiest memory?

Probably a tie between being surrounded by so many loved ones on my wedding day and my birthday party last year, again surrounded by friends and family but it also included dancing!  I was in heaven!

  • Can you drive a stick shift?

Nope!  Sure can’t!

  • Can you pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time?

Yes.  But I think most people can…right?

  • What has surprised you the most about having a blog?

That so many people connected with what I have to say, and how much support they were willing to give me, a stranger.

  • What was the last movie you saw?

That one with Tom Cruise and the cool space ships on future earth where he is the “clean up crew.”  I forgot the name of it but it was pretty good lol!

  • What is your favorite ballet?

I’m guessing it would be Alice in Wonderland, though I haven’t seen it yet!  It looks absolutely amazing.  Basically, I love any ballet but I’ve only ever seen The Nutcracker live and a few shows with excerpts from multiple ballets.  I love the romantic ones like Sleeping Beauty and Romeo and Juliet and Swan Lake.

  • Who is your favorite ballet dancer?

Who else?!  Baryshnikov!

  • Can you do the splits?

Yes.

4. Create 11 questions for the bloggers I nominate

  • Which of your blog posts is your favorite?  Why?
  • What is the best thing about you?
  • What is your biggest accomplishment in life?
  • Who is your hero?  Who do you look up to?
  • What is your biggest pet peeve?
  • What superhero power would you choose to have if you could have one?
  • What is your most prized possession?
  • What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
  • If you could spend 1 hour with anyone who ever lived, who would it be and why?
  • Have you ever broken a bone?  How?
  • Captain Picard or Captain Kirk?

5.  Choose 11 bloggers….

Well, I’m pretty sure Tracy Fulks has way more than 200 readers but her blog is exceptional and I just want to share it.  Tracy Fulks

Adult Ballerina Project

See Jen Dance

Body Insider

The Reinvented Lass

Unbearable Weight

Legal Ballerina

BGBallroom

…Then Came Dance

The Middlest Sister

Adult Beginner

Pickle

Pickle

By Renee Comet (photographer) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Oh how I love my favorite Bulgarian, my dance instructor, Ivan. His language gaffes keep me entertained.

So here’s the story:

Ivan and I are working on our Samba routine. I think we have it completely choreographed but I have yet to dance the entire thing full-out, to music, in sequence, and we are days out from my next competition, people! AHHH!

I will just do what I did for Jive last competition. We had practiced it once, count it once, before Desert Classic and I knew all of three, count ‘em, three steps. I did three steps for the entire Jive. So anyways, then with the un-practiced Jive, and now with the un-practiced Samba I’m simply going to give myself a mental pass on that dance, meaning that I will dance it the best I can and that I will be fine no matter if I mess up or how well or poorly we place because the fact of the matter is, we simply do not have the time to really make this routine polished. Heck! We are still working on, improving, and polishing the Rumba and Cha Cha routines and I’ve been dancing those for a few months now!

So I’m not going to be too hard on myself when it comes to performing the Samba this time around. I will be a little more serious about it for my next competition after I’ve had the opportunity to work out the bugs and practice! And yes, I may be in a pickle with this Samba dance at the competition for lack of preparation, but that is not what this post is actually about.

You see, on my last lesson we were working on the Samba and Ivan’s shirt flew up. I saw this big brown june bug on his side. I thought perhaps he had a tatoo on his abdomen or something. I was curious – I know, like it was so important to find out what this brown dot was when I was in the middle of learning a routine I will be dancing in a few days – I don’t pretend that I make any sense when it comes to these things. Well anyways, I had to know. I just did, okay?

So I told Ivan, “Ivan. Pull up your shirt! What is that brown dot on your belly? Do you have a tatoo?”

“No. What you talking about?” He pulled up his shirt to reveal his belly button and I scanned the skin for the mark I’d seen.

It wasn’t nearly as dramatic as I’d thought.

“What you looking at?” He inquired.

“Well, I guess it must have been this.” I pointed at a small brown dot on his side.

“My pickle?”

“What?!”

“My pickle.”

Tears streamed down my face as I gasped for breath between guffaws.

“Ha ha ha, Ivan! No, that is NOT a pickle! A pickle is a very different thing.” (If you know what I mean)

“That’s a freckle.”

So Funny And Completely Inappropriate

So this morning I went in to practice the piece for the showcase at 7:45am. The practice was uneventful, which is good, except for the fact that Ivan was super tired because yesterday he did all sorts of work and intense manual labor on his farm which is up for an inspection from the county. That, and he strained his back from carrying 80 pound bags of cement all over the place, so he was like, “Please no splits today.” And I was like, “No problem!” I didn’t mind skipping that part at all….just as long as he is recovered by Saturday, which he seems to think he will be.

So the practice went well enough and at the end Ivan had another morning lesson scheduled. In came a new student who is friends with one of Ivan’s other students who I know. They asked to see what we were working on so we showed them the dance and they were kind and said it looked good, and the new gal said she had heard a lot about me from her friend, and somehow the conversation became about the blog. I didn’t mention it…I think Ivan did, but the lady I know said she didn’t know I had a blog so I fished a card for her out of my purse.

“It’s about my experiences on dance lessons, and all the funny stuff Ivan does, and sometimes helpful information about ballroom dancing, and a little bit of me complaining about trying to lose weight.”

And we’re talking about the blog and Ivan chimes in. “Ah yes. Everything that happens goes on the blog. This why I no have sex with her. because if I do, then it would be on the blog.”

Achtung

By see below. (see below.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

SAY WHAT!?! Who says something like that? And who can say that and still be likeable, especially in front of a new potential student? Only my cuckoo instructor. Good thing he is an independent agent because I can’t imagine a comment like that would ever be tolerated at a studio, and good thing that I know him and how ridiculous he is, as does his other student, who I am certain has shared about Ivan to her pal.  All I can say is that he must have been deliriously tired to randomly say something like that!

So anyways, without missing a beat, as I’m walking out the door, I simply reply, “Oh, that’s the only thing holding you back, Ivan? That it would be written about on the blog?” And Ivan’s student cracks up in a guffaw while I think her friend is sitting next to her silently in shock over what just transpired.

Ha ha ha! So here it is, I’m writing about it on the blog. Lolololol.

Why You No Pick The Phone?

I love the way Ivan says things. It’s just so funny sometimes. For instance, he never says, “Why didn’t you pick up the phone?” but rather, “Why you no pick the phone?”

Dialog gr 1972

By Holger.Ellgaard (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

“Well, Ivan, I no pick the phone because I was at the gym.”

“Oh?! What?! You at the gym. You never doing this. Goooood.”

“Well, I did go for a while there but couldn’t make it work. This time I’m making it work.”

“Are you sweat?”

“Yes, I am sweat a lot.”

“I know. I can smelling it through the phone. Go take a shower. What did you do?”

“45 minutes on the stair-stepper. I got my heart rate up to 160 for most of it and pushed it to 180 for 5 minutes toward the end.”

“Goooood. And how you feeling?”

“Pretty good. I didn’t want to go today but I couldn’t bring myself not to go. So I went. I was really tired all day.”

“See. But you going then you feeling good. Ah! The stair-stepper is the worst. But I love it!”

“Yeah, it hurts my butt! But it gets my heart rate up and I need the cardio. Third time this week to make it to the gym. So can we have a lesson tomorrow morning?”

“Yes madam. See you six-thirty, krasiva.”

*krasiva = beautiful in Bulgarian.

I Feel Good

I just got off my lesson this morning and I have to say, I feel good.

I’m fat, and my feet are slow, and there is still so much to learn and work on and grow into, and so what… I’m satisfied.

I’m satisfied because I’m in there working on it. I’m dancing! And dancing makes me love life, and even love myself. Even when I’m flawed. Even when I mess up.

I almost don’t even know what to do with this good feeling. Isn’t that weird? It, like sadness or anger, also needs an outlet. It too, needs to be expressed.

Like today, after my lesson (well, it was a double) I still had energy. I wanted to dance even more! I wasn’t ready to be done with dancing today.

You see, last night I went to go support my friend and watch her dance in a showcase (more on this experience later). I was surrounded by all these people who love dancing and by the end of the night I just couldn’t wait to get to my lesson this morning. Seriously, it just made me want to get on the dance floor and work.

And even better was I brought some new music and that was awesome inspiration. We began with a Rumba, and I just love the way it feels. Perhaps my technique isn’t perfect, and I still miss connections or whatever, but ever since the running blindly episode, I’ve been feeling more secure than before, more confident. More able to enjoy the dance and be in the moment. More able to just feel and move and there is nothing like it in this world.  Yep, you figured it out.  Ballroom is my heroin.  But as addictions go, I think it’s a pretty good one to have!

Ivan and I had said that today would be all about creating a Samba routine, but we got a little distracted by the great new music which infused a new energy into our dancing. And I just feel so good when I’m dancing, really dancing (not thinking or analyzing or critiquing) with Ivan. It is so wonderful to have a partner that will match my energy, that I can interact with. I mean, I’m starting to feel like I’m coming into my own in some ways. Like yesterday on an impromptu lesson, I actually corrected Ivan for once! Ha! There is no thrill like reversing the tables, you know! All lesson long I hear about my shortcomings, what I should be doing, and all of it is true and right, but you know what, Ivan isn’t perfect either! His shoulder was getting out of line and I didn’t even think about it – I just saw it, didn’t say a word and started touching it, patting it like “Hey! Pay attention here buddy!” And he was all, “Yes. Thank you. You is right.” Bam!

So today when I saw my huge ass and my fat flappy arms jiggling all over the place, I wasn’t happy about it, but for once I didn’t let it get me down.  I was feeling too good.  I was feeling too strong about how awesome it felt to go “Kah! Wha! Two and three, four and one!” I was feeling the part, living the part, body be damned….and, oh boy I can’t wait until I’m thinner!

So the rest of my weekend is going to be awesome.  The Arthur Murray studios in town have gotten together for a competition and showcase thing – last night I saw the showcase part and today is a mini competition and then professional show, including dinner and a performance by Jason and Sveta Daly.  So I’m going to get myself all gussied up and go to that tonight which will be very fun, and then tomorrow morning another double with Ivan, then off to Ballet, then off to another lesson with my friend Lady Gaga - ballet and yoga stretching she said.  Then in the evening supporting another dear friend, this one a singer, who will be performing her new original works at a fundraising event.

In any case, all this is getting the bug in me.  Though I am only slightly smaller than the last time I competed, I want to show up with an even more dramatic difference, but I also want to perform or compete soon.  I mean, my routines are still in progress, and I’m not necessarily “ready,” but I still want to do it!  The last time I danced publically was back in September.  And the performer in me who has awoken and is feeling good today wants to get out there and start being seen on a more regular basis.  Life is too short, you know?

I’m thinking about San Francisco, Emerald, People’s Choice.  I kind of wish I could do Vegas in two weeks but the mandatory overtime is still in place at work.  I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to step back into the Scholarship arena just yet, but I’d love to do some open heats.  Ah well, it’s in the works.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I guess that’s about it for now.  I just feel good and wanted to document it!  LOL.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Whoa. I remember writing a post last Valentine’s Day! I’ve been blogging for over a year! I have to say, it flew by fast. Blogging, and dancing, have truly been enterprises fueled by love, which is fitting, since it’s Valentine’s Day and all.

So, like last year, I’m going to write about the topic of love, in the context of dancing and blogging. Here’s what I’m loving in my dance and blogging life right now:

1) I love getting my ass kicked in Inna’s Latin class on Tuesdays.

This is a real pleasure. Actually, not so much while I’m gasping for breath and leaning on the wall for support like I was last night after Jive and Paso Doble, but there is great pleasure in making it through a class, and in seeing improvement, however slowly it may seem to be happening. There is also a great rush of serious endorphins that hit my blood stream on the ride home after the grueling work-out that is Tuesday night at Imperial Ballroom Dance Center.  More than that, I love seeing my friends in class and learning from such an amazing professional.  The studio is gorgeous, it my favorite space and floor in town by far, and their Holiday Showcase is first-class as well.  Hmmm, I guess this is turning into a love-fest for the entire studio.  Well, so be it.  I love Imperial, and the people who inhabit it, and the work I am lucky enough to get to do there.

2) Getting a positive reaction out of my teacher.

Seriously, if you dance, you will know….it is like, the best, when your teacher is pleased with something you do.  It’s those moments that are really motivating to me and I have to say, I love when they happen, especially since they are far and few between! I’ve been fortunate that in the last couple of lessons, however, I’ve actually managed to get a “Wow!” and some goosebumps out of Mr. Ivan.

The ”Wow!” was just this morning on a lesson when we were preparing to begin a Rumba.  I was actually listening to the music (for once) and relaxed and letting myself do whatever I wanted without editing or holding back, which is a win, and it worked just like it’s supposed to!  Gosh, I should do that more often!

The goosebumps occurred on a previous lesson. As always, Ivan was encouraging me to perform, and told me to really “sell it!” in my movement. Basically, dance with confidence and conviction. Easy to say….not so easy to execute sometimes for those of us who struggle with self-doubt. But this was after my fearless blind running (see my last post if you don’t know what I’m talking about) and so I was up for the challenge.  It was a fan, I think in Cha Cha, and I sold it baby!  At first Ivan told me I was copping out, and in his crazy mind/explanation I was accepting $90 when being offered $100.

“Excuse me!”  I replied, “$100 is cheap! I would only accept $1000.”

“Ah, yes, well this like you accepting $3000 for $5000.  Sell it for the $5000.”

I took a deep breath and went for it.  And it worked.

“Ah, you no sell $5000.  You sell $20,000!”  And the proof was the goosebumps.

Yeah, it was awesome, even if it doesn’t really make any sense, but I don’t care – I love me some goosebumps.

3) I love taking ballet class.

I also love people who follow that inner instinct and do things in this world, even when they don’t necessarily make sense to others.  One such person is this lady and it’s because of her that I have a place, as an adult, to go and feel comfortable and reconnect with one of my first dance loves – ballet.  Trust me, it’s not so easy to find a class that would work for me….I’m out of shape but a dancer inside.  I needed a class that was challenging, taught by someone who knows ballet and could coach and correct, but a class that wasn’t too challenging, if you know what I mean.  Nor did I want to dance alongside tweeners.   In a leotard.  That was definitely not gonna work for me.  Well, Anyways, that amazing lady, Teresa, created a dance studio just for people like me and it’s because of her I can go to another dance studio that I love, Abby Bella, (named after her two darling doggies!), and dance my heart out in a joyful way, in a space full of support and camaraderie, and connect with ballet and dancing like I never could as a kid.

I love how just even the few weeks of ballet classes I’ve been taking regularly have seemed to help with balance and maybe even some strength and flexibility.  I’m finding my center again and determined to tackle a double pirouette soon – they were my nemesis as a teenager, but I eventually did successfully harness them.  In any case, I love going, I love stretching and pushing myself, and I love being in the class and in the studio.  I know it’s going to help me with my ballroom dancing too!

4)  I love connecting with others (read you!) through the blog.

Seriously, y’all!  I love getting direct messages and comments and friend requests/followers on the Facebook.  It’s been amazing to meet other dancers as passionate about dancing as I am, to hear stories from others about their struggles and triumphs, to receive support and to support others.  I’ve done some guest blogs, and invited others to write guest posts, not to mention participating in the Dance Advantage Dance Blog Contest which was ah-maz-ing!!! Not only did I get a ton of exposure, and gain some new readers, but I got 3rd place overall and Editor’s Choice.  I feel like my blog is bona fide now, if you know what I mean.  So anyways, not to be cheesy or anything, but you, dear reader, the one reading this right now, I love you!  Yes, I write for me, and to process my experiences and stuff, but I also write for you.  You guys help me stay motivated and accountable.  You send me kindness and friendship.  All of this, I feel, puts me on the better end of the deal!  I appreciate you and I want to say thank you.  I feel like we have something of a community here and I love that.  I’m glad you are here and please don’t be shy to speak up and say hello, digitally or in person!

Alrighty.  It’s late, I’m tired and have a loooooong day ahead of me tomorrow.  I’m gonna sign off.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love, Stef

Just For Fun

Here is a short video of my silly instructor before I met him.  He’s the clown.  He’s dancing with his friend dressed as a cowboy who is also a pro.

If you enjoyed this Crazy Clown and Cowboy Waltz, you can see them dance a Sassy Samba together on The Facebook Page.  While there, like the page to it to add it to your Facebook feed for extra content beyond the blog, and go here to write a comment and help me get into the next round of the Dance Advantage Best Dance Blog competition.  Any comment with a date of January 22nd will count!

TTFN!  -Stef

Sometimes It Just Takes A Little Smell

Ah, the joys of learning another language!

Today Ivan and Marieta got back from the Hollywood Dancesport competition where they placed 3rd in the Open Professional Rhythm division.  It was super exciting to watch live online via streaming but even better to get to see them in person for my lesson today, to congratulate them, to work on the open Cha Cha routine, and to give Ivan a birthday card.

It wasn’t a very aerobic lesson but we were really pounding out the details of the dance.  I’m still working to simply remember the steps.  Beyond that are layers and layers of little details that must be addressed because these seeming little things are what make the routine really pop.  For instance, I noticed that on one part I was doing something slightly different than Ivan.  We need to look in unison, like we are dancing the same dance.  Just that one little bit, deciding if we would do a check hip hip or a swirly rounded hip hip took a minute to figure out.  In the end, it looks much better.

Also, we worked on how to do a variety of cross-overs.  We have 3 right in the beginning, each slightly different.  Then a turn into quick Cha Cha step.  I need help with balance, making the steps quick, clean, and sharp, putting my body weight on at the right place at the right time over the right foot, and then how to place my arms.  It’s a bit overwhelming.  Scratch that, it’s extremely overwhelming.

Strangely, one part I am feeling more secure about are the stupid splits.  Truly this is bizarre to me but it feels more strong, safe, and I even did a little jump to bring my feet together and worm my way up twisting my hips to the next step, something I really didn’t think I could do.  We have yet to execute this to speed or with music, but there is progress and this is encouraging.

I think the most difficult thing is the ronde’ we do after a cross-over.  Ivan wanted my arms to be different and since Marieta was there we took advantage of her presence.  She did the move, and it was completely different from what I was doing….like night and day, and I liked her way so very much better.  “Wow,” I uttered.  Even just a simple little step looks exciting and intense and tells a story when Marieta does it.  I, therefore, spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out how to emulate her, and to no avail.  I conceptually know what I’m going for, and I can tell when I do it incorrectly, but figuring out how to actually execute it proprerly,…how to compress my right side, to remember to place my feet together before the last step, where to place my head, how to attack the ronde’ and not make it so soft and balletic, how to change my weight after placing the feet together, to look up rather than down when I face Ivan as the step ends, well, it seriously made me want to cry.

Why?  Because I have this thought that I wish I had been studying this style of dance since I was a child.  It is overwhelming to realize all the knowledge I just don’t have, my lack of experience, my inability to place my body correctly.  I honestly don’t think there is ever a way to truly “catch up” and this thought makes me incredibly sad.  I know, I know.  I can’t change the past and it is pretty useless to dwell on it.  It is the anthesis of empowering.  And still, it makes me sad.  I mourn the loss of an imaginary reality where I could have been a professional dancer.  Irrational, I know.

But after the lesson, I wasn’t able to dwell on this because I gave Ivan a card for his birthday.  It was a nice card that said something to the effect you make more of a difference in my life than you will probably ever even realize.  At one point (It was a wordy card) it said “Sometimes it just takes a little smile or a word of encouragement at the right time…”  Well, Ivan was practicing reading in English.  I have to give the man some serious props because I can’t even begin to fathom trying to read something in Bulgarian with that Cyrillic alphabet.  But anyways, it was pretty funny hearing him sound out all the words.  Instead of saying the word “smile” it came out as “smell.”  Ha!  Ah, yes, sometimes it just takes a little smell….. heh heh heh.

Lucky for us, Marieta was there today to translate the content of the card into Bulgarian for Ivan.  A lot of times he will say the words while reading but not truly understand what is being communicated.  For once he actually understood the message and was honestly touched.  He said, “Oh, so nice this card.  You touch my bottom.”

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

He meant that the card touched his heart, that he was moved deeply.  But, well, literally it translated into “bottom” which in English has a very different meaning!  He explained, “What is it you call the deepest part of the ocean?”

“Well, it’s the bottom of the ocean.”  I replied.

“See!  I right!”

We laughed hysterically but the fun didn’t end there.

I tried my hand at some Bulgarian, trying to impress Marieta with what I’ve been learning.  Now it was my turn to make a gauche faux pas.

I meant to say, “I’m sorry.  I don’t understand.  Please repeat that slower.”

But you see, the word for repeat and the word for fart both start with a “P” and get mixed up in my brain.  Why do I know the word in Bulgarian for fart, well, for that blame Ivan who thinks it is hysterical to teach me inappropriate things.

So, I ended up saying, “I’m sorry.  I don’t understand.  Please fart slower.”

Sheesh!  Marieta was so sweet about it.  Because I was serious when I told her this, she was trying to be encouraging and kind but ended up asking Ivan how a person could fart slower.  “I had a hard time wrapping my mind around that one!” She shared.

Yes, the difference between prog-na-li and pov-tor-ri-li is important!  Not a mistake I will make again.  I also said that I like green wine.  Actually, it’s red wine I like.

So, there you go.  I have a lot to learn both as a dancer and a speaker of the Bulgarian language.  Hopefully I will approach both with joy, humor, and humility rather than sadness and despair at my shortcomings…celebrate the wins, like feeling better about splits, and laughing at the mistakes, like the rest of my lesson, trusting myself to learn and grow from them and to continue this evolution.

Bad Dances? WTF?

This is actually just a short aside…

I get on the floor to dance with Mr. Ivan and he says “We have bad dances.”

“What?” I respond.

“We have bad dances.”

“Okay.  Well, I thought we were doing pretty well here so far.  I’ve felt good.”

“No!  We have BAT dances!”

“Um okay.  Cha cha is starting!”

“Shit!” I think.  It’s been such a fun and relaxed and good competition from my perspective.  Why is my instructor now telling me I did poorly?!  I feel like this is the best we have done so far.  GRRRR!  But guess what?  We have to dance.  Suck it up and make it work.  Go!

We have this conversation in the 20 seconds prior to a dance round.

“Oh, I sorry!  Bat (or as my American ears hear it ”Bad”) means 5 in Bulgarian.”

My internal dialogue:  Shit?! Really?!  You stinking bastard?!?  Are you kidding me?!  Really?  You actually now just did this to me!  You knew “very well” – a phrase you utilize often with me – you knew “very well” what Bat or Bad or whatever sounds like in freakin’ English…you knew very well it means bad, poor, not good…  You suck!  Hardcore.  Bat?!  Bad?!  WTH?!?!?!

On the outside, however, I graciously say, “Oh!  Thanks for explaining that.  We have 5 dances in a row.  Great!  I am so happy that I get to dance them with you!

AHHHHH!

LOLOLOL.

Can you relate?  Please share!!!