This post is inspired by a new member of the ballroom community. Miss MyBelle940 has been dancing ballroom for two months now and somehow found her way to my blog. She’s going to be dancing in a showcase in a month and I know this because she also started a blog. Anyways, she asked me a question this morning, and I thought it was a topic worthy of its own post. It’s one I’ve often thought about and struggled with…especially after Desert Classic. Should someone like me dance?
Well, first off, we have to address the question of who is “someone like me.”
In this case, the “someone” MyBelle940 was describing was someone I could totally relate to. She wrote:
I was hoping maybe you could offer some inspiration on how you deal with not being the typical dancer build… I love dancing but sometimes it feels like people like me (not just my size but my overall uncoordinated-ness) shouldn’t be dancing… I’ve had a lot of problems with this lately and it’s gotten me down even during class.
I mean, isn’t like a lot of this blog about me working through all the mental quicksand that pulls me down and makes me feel like I’m not worthy to dance? I know, intimately, about what she speaks.
But, I also know this. If it is in my heart to dance, then I should dance. Period.
It took a while. It felt like a lie for many months. But my truth is that I am a dancer. However I may be packaged, it is who I am. It is a part of me. It is in my heart. Therefore, should I dance? Yes. Even more so.
And really, who has any right to ever tell me that I should or should not dance. Only I have that power. Only I permission myself or hinder myself. Others may mirror my own negative thoughts (and positive ones too), but neither will affect me if I am firm in my own belief in myself, my worth. If I come from the place of knowing I am a dancer, then I am unaffected by what others may think. That is their reality, not mine.
But all too often, I make up really nasty stories in my head. Sometimes people will say or infer things that seem to make me right about how I shouldn’t dance, that I’m not a dancer. It agrees with my concept of myself. And pendulum swings. My does it swing widely…from being a piece of dirt on the foot of a cockroach, to being an amazing, luminious goddess. I guess, in reality, I am both. And, I’m just trying to find that middle path, the balance between the two extremes.
So, being clinically obese, some might say that I shouldn’t dance. That my lines are not clear. That I look funny. That I’m ridiculous. That I’m ugly.
Maybe she shouldn’t run either click here:
I particularly love her response. Please take the time to read her comments.
And I guess that pretty much sums it up, you know?
The only one who gets to say what I should and shouldn’t do is me.
So should you dance, whether in the ballroom or in life? You have your own answer. But I bet the answer is yes.