It’s a quiet evening in for the Biggest Girl here on New Year’s Eve. I baked my Brussel’s sprouts in the oven and used the Foreman Grill to cook my chicken and lean meat so I’m now 100% prepared for the week. I have to get a work out in early tomorrow before the brunch to endure without Mimosas and food (well, I can bring my own snacks) so I’m planning on making it an early night.
For whatever reason, the creative juices are flowing. I’ve got my music blaring, I’m in my comfy clothes, and I felt the need to write a poem. So I did.
But first! I have a few things to share.
Like many of you, I also got my year-end report from WordPress.com. I was happily surprised to see that I got the “fill the Sydney Opera House ten times” statistic which equates to 73.97260274 visits per day every day of the year, or approximately 27,000 views. And from 140 different countries, can you believe that? (Thank you Bec for making the Australia on my map a pale blue. I attribute that entirely to you!) Pretty cool if you ask me, even if it is small potatoes on the internet, much less the entire cosmos! (lol – that is a reference to my last post).
Apparently you all like it when I whine about my body. Yes, the busiest day of the year was when I posted Dear Body.
But, go figure, my most overall viewed post was about Ballet…because you know that’s what I’m totally about here at the Biggest Girl in the BALLROOM!!! WTH!? lol. Apparently Ballet is more popular in the blogosphere than Ballroom, and I ask, what is wrong with the world? Just kidding. I love me some Ballet too, but really, ballroom is my main squeeze.
I wish I had some funny ways people found me, but according to WordPress they were all pretty normal. In fact, the first one was the search term “Biggest Girl in the Ballroom.” So, like, perhaps some people actually deliberately sought the blog out. Neat! Usually this is the portion that is hilarious to read on other blogs but mine is not; searches were: biggest girl in the ballroom, dancing with stefanie, inna berlizyeva, yulia zagoruychenko weight, and ivan dishliev. Poor Ivan, after Yulia. I don’t even know her 🙂 I mean, all of the terms except that one are actually related to the blog. Amazing.
And now a drumroll please! I want to take a moment to give hearty thanks and buckets full of gratitude for my top 5 commenters of the year!
You guys rock! If I ever write a book, you will get a free signed copy. Or if I make a t-shirt, I’ll send you one. Thanks for the support. You know I appreciate it!
And now, I offer you my poem for the evening. It’s called, “Dance Anyways.” I can’t get the spacing right but oh well. Hope you can imagine where I’d separate things out.
I don’t know how. I will look dumb.
I’m not the right size, not a size one.
My legs are too thick, like trunks on a tree,
and my body is round, there’s no hope for me.
I am afraid to do it myself, though I do love to see you fly.
It’s better I sit back and watch than to give this thing a try.
You are so beautiful and lovely to see.
I wish I could be like you, but clearly I’m just me.
The voice in side me says I’m not enough –
I’m just a dud.
My heart wants to dance, that much is true,
but I know I can’t do it, I’m nothing compared to you.
How can you know that if you don’t try?
Why halt your soul if it wants to fly?
This is the saddest story to tell,
of someone who died inside when their spirit was quelled.
Oh sure, you can see them stomping around,
but they have no sparkle, like zombies dug from the ground.
Their eyes have no light, inside they wither,
under the burden of woulda, coulda, shoulda, it’s no pretty picture.
Don’t cow yourself in, you deserve better.
The world has enough zombies, it’s your passion that matters.
If I could give one slice of advice it would be only this:
Dance your bliss!
Dance when you are fat, dance when you are thin.
Dance when the music is playing and you can’t hold it in.
Dance with a partner, dance with a friend,
dance with your dog or a room full of men!
Dance in your kitchen, barefoot and free,
or dance in the studio with legwarmers to your knees.
Dance in silence and dance in the rain.
Dance when you feel wonderful and when you feel pain.
I said it before and I’ll say it again,
For there is no greater sin,
than to deny your soul nourishment
and to starve from within.
There may be a million reasons NOT to dance under the sun,
but the reason TO dance, there is only one.
If you want to dance, it’s enough that it’s in your heart,
In truth that is the one reason to start.
It doesn’t have to make sense.
Dance your bliss!
I feel like no matter what people will judge: Dance Anyways
You will make mistakes: Dance Anyways
You will fall, miss connections, miss the beat and have many mishaps: Dance Anyways
You may feel sad or not enough: Dance Anyways
You may see your flaws: Dance Anyways
It will probably be painful and difficult and frustrating at some point or another: Dance Anyways
You may not have a breakthrough for months: Dance Anyways
Some people will like you, others will not: Dance Anyways
You may be different, a trendsetter, not understood (Hallelujah – the world needs more of that in my opinion): Dance Anyways
And you know what? You may just come to love yourself because you danced.
You may begin to see your beauty, your spirit, all that is wonderful about you.
May you dance into the new year with peace and grace. Blessings and Happy New Year everyone!
Happy New Year, Stefanie! Great poem. Much more inspiring and classy than the 3 verses of limerick I wrote for the DH’s birthday the other day. LOL!
I am genuinely inspired by your posts – your honesty, your spirit and your sense of humour. And the Ivan stories, of course. We have put ourselves into this weird activity/sport where looks are so important, and for those of us who don’t have the right “look” it will always be an uphill battle. Knowing we will always have to be a bit (or a lot) better than our competitors is always there, sitting in the back of our minds, nagging away. But for now, at least, I will take you good advice and Dance Anyways!
Happy New year and may your upcoming practices and comps be filled with the joy of dance and much laughter:-)
It seems fitting that the first comment of the year was by you! And what a lovely comment it was! Thank you so much. I do hope we get to meet in person one day. I want to give you a big hug.
I never knew you were a poet. 🙂 I wish you the best for the New Year. May your dancing be blessed.
I didn’t know I was a poet either, but it is a new part of me that is emerging, and it begs to be explored.
Keep exploring with poetry! I started writing in much the same way. Words would come to me and I’d write them down so I could go to sleep. Dance Anyways is great – it really gets to the heart of the matter, which is if you love to dance, just do it! Don’t let anything stop you. I have cerebral palsy. I hear the “I can’t do it” voice in my head sometimes. I try anyway and more often than not, I CAN do it…not perfectly, although I wish I could. Congrats with your blogging success. Wow, you have quite a following.! Any tips for on how to grow (get more hits per day) soon to be two-year old blog? I definitely see The Biggest Girl in the Ballroom book in your future….
Thanks so much, Nicole! I’ve grown the blog organically. I think the biggest thing is to share authentically. Also, it is wonderful and helpful to make connections with readers and other bloggers. Cross-promotion is always helpful too. And I work on finding other blogs I love to read and interacting with their authors. As far as a book, it is so going to happen…just working on getting my body into shape so I can have that stunning “after” photo for the cover.
wonderful poem for the new year… dance for the soul, who’s passion it wants to feel.. i love it… thanks for coming to my blog… maybe we can be friends too and enjoy each others journeys… Barbara
You made me cry with that poem. Thank you!
You are welcome!